Yuliya is a mum of two busy boys (6 & 8 years old), whose day job is marketing for leading companies, such as Nestlé and George Weston Foods. She likes getting involved in community work and two years ago started a new project with two other mums. Breaking Bread (previously called Meals for Mum) is an online community on Facebook bringing together families who have excess homemade food with those who may need one!
MV50: How did you come up with the idea for your project?
Yuliya: It was a couple of years ago when I was really busy with work and kids. I had to stay home with my younger son for three days. We were both sick with the flu and a 41-degree fever. And I can’t lay flat for three days, doing nothing. 🙂
I started going through Facebook and this group was coming up where two friends in New Zealand got together and decided to do a community project. They connected people who loved cooking and were cooking big meals with people who needed a homemade dinner. It was nothing to do with charity or financial hardship. It was more about that ‘new mums’ kind of situation where mums simply wouldn’t have time to cook. Or, if temporarily everyone is sick in a family and literally nobody can cook for the kids and so they’ve been getting takeaway since last Monday, which is really not good for anyone.
So, it looked like a fairly new group that was growing exponentially over the course of three months. I love cooking, and often overcook. My first thought was “I would like to participate and donate food”. So, do they have a group in Australia? And I looked and looked and there wasn’t.
So I am thinking – well, if there isn’t one, I can start one. So, I got in touch with the girls in NZ, while still laying in bed with fever and said – I am keen to bring this into Australia and want to learn from you. I don’t want to create this from scratch. Your model works. Can I just take it and bring it here?
And they say «Well, interestingly, there are two other ladies in Australia who have written to us with the same expression of interest. Why don’t we put you in touch?”
So they put us in touch, we got together online, created a group and defined some rules. And that’s how it’s started.
It had a lot of interest from the beginning. And there were a lot of people who jumped to the idea. But it turned out that there were a lot more people who were thinking “I can give”, than people who think “I can ask”.
In the early days I had to put out a post going: “Hey, guys, asking is ok. You may be a perfect family but have just had a shit week and need someone to come around and drop you some food”. And someone would email me and go “I am really sorry. I really shouldn’t ask, because we are actually all fine. We just need dinner.” It seems in Australia people have a problem asking for help unless they are in financial hardship.
Often people write to say how amazing the feeling is that they get from sharing or receiving. And it’s not about food. It’s about a human connection – “This person who just showed up on our doorstep! And the conversation we had! Oh my God! I am starting to believe in the human spirit!” People really get those high-level feelings out of it. We do have the need for that community feel. And that kind of keeps you going – it’s something that adds energy. And you just think, “I will put more effort into it. I am not going to let it die.”
MV50: What was your motivation to start it?
Yuliya: I always worked in a corporate world. With two small kids and a mortgage I wasn’t going to drop work. I was the main breadwinner. And I really like my work.
But at the back of my head I was always looking for something else to do outside of work.
MV50: How did it feel when it started?
Yuliya: I was really excited. It felt like I was in the right place at the right time. It resonated, clicked in my head and went, “Let’s just do it!”
MV50: Who/what supported you in the process?
Yuliya: I have a lot of support in my life. My parents and my friends are enormous support. I received an unexpected support when one journalist wrote an article for SMH (Good Food) about our project. And little did I know that then the other journalists got their hands on it and then, the TV channels. It created so much interest!
MV50: When you started this project did you apply any of your corporate experience?
Yuliya: I work in marketing – working with social media is part of my job. Yes, it was a bit of serendipity in the fact that it went to the newspaper and TV. I think it helped me a lot that I feel comfortable in front of a camera and talking to the audience. I do it all the time at work.
MV50: Did this project change something for you? Any new learnings?
Yuliya: Absolutely, but I think this is like anything I start.
For a long time I was someone who’s used to working 12 hours a day and thinking that it’s not really a big deal. Over the years I guess I found a certain middle ground where I can’t afford to quit but I also can’t afford to do these crazy hours. I still really enjoy my job. So, I found a company that appreciates family values. And now it is a lot easier to manage work/life balance. So maybe I’m not climbing the corporate ladder but I’m still getting paid fairly well and I’m providing for the family and I’m leaving at 5 o’clock every day.
Another realisation is that possibly without this project I wouldn’t have taken my journey in understanding the whole reciprocity in asking and giving, which has changed my life dramatically.
There are lots of people out there who are willing to help. But I actually think there is a huge value in that ‘asking for help’ mentality. I started asking for support so much more these days, and I never did before. I guess, for so long I was proving that I can do everything myself. I did really well between work and the kids. We are all the same, we never ask, we are self-sufficient and strong and don’t have to rely on anyone.
But it actually hinders your relationships when you don’t want people’s help. That was an enormous learning for me. I think in this world we wonder why we don’t have close connections, we wonder why we don’t get to that intimacy? So, I started asking for the sake of the relationship, for the sake of this connection. Now, I can see when you give someone an opportunity to do something for you, you give them a gift. You enhance the relationship.
There was one more lesson. Before this project started, I was all about the Big Calling. All I could think about was “It has to be a real purpose – big, profound! And it is going to hit me!”
And one day discussing it with my coach, I heard back: “Well, maybe. But it doesn’t have to hit you. It may be really subtle”. And I thought, “No! Really? Maybe… Wow!” So, in the next 40 years I may hit a big gem, but it might end up being a series of little projects. And sometimes I may focus on a personal project like learning about family and its dynamics which is literally just for me. And then I may hit off another project that focuses more on the community output.
I guess another learning is that we are here for ourselves and we do stuff that benefits us in the end. It’s lovely to do things for people, but you only do it for others because you do it for yourself. At the end of the day you are here for your own purpose.
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